Here are five very helpful quotes come from St. Jose Maria Escriva about “fraternal correction.”
1. “To practice fraternal correction, which is so deeply rooted in the Gospel, is a proof of supernatural trust and affection. Be thankful for it when you receive it, and don’t neglect to practice it with those you live with.”
2. “When you correct someone, because it has to be done and you want to do your duty, you must expect to hurt others and to get hurt yourself. But you should never let this fact be an excuse for holding back.”
3. “Don’t neglect the practice of fraternal correction, which is a clear sign of the supernatural virtue of charity. You may find it hard, for it’s easier to be inhibited. It’s easier to behave that way, but it’s not supernatural. And you will have to render an account to God for such omissions.”
4. “When you have to make a fraternal correction, do it with great kindness — great charity! — in what you say and in the way you say it, for at that moment you are God’s instrument.”
5. “There is a great love of comfort, and at times a great irresponsibility, hidden behind the attitude of those in authority who flee from the sorrow of correcting, making the excuse that they want to avoid the suffering of others. They may perhaps save themselves some discomfort in this life. But they are gambling with eternal happiness — the eternal happiness of others as well as their own — by these omissions of theirs. These omissions are real sins.”
We should always remember that Fraternal correction is a two-way street. It is important to receive it with as much charity and courtesy as we would hope to see in those to whom we offer it. We never enjoy being corrected, and receiving it with humility is very difficult. But receive it we must.
Finally, we should never revel in correcting our brother. Yet we should never shrink from offering correction out of fear that we will be called judgmental or harsh. While it is wise to consider the timing, it is potentially fatal to avoid it on a regular basis. Mother Angelica once said, “If you are not a thorn in somebody’s side, you aren’t doing Christianity right.”
